I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize