I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
