i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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