i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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