So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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