I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
