And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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