1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
