Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
