fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
try to milk me bitch
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