Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
