Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize