i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
