i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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