so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
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Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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