did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
