It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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