I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
