we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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