My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
send nudes
from the living room?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
