he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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