Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
