i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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