You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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