Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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