I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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