'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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