Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
