Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
