All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize