That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize