I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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