I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
