I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
