O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
