New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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