Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
