You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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