I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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