Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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