it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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