That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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