This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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