Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
