Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
