No stitches, just platelets and will power
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
