Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
