I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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