dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
