I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
