kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
These tits shall not be calmed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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