Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
