i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
