But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
