I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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