Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
