I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
