i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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