I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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