Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
