I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize