Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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