Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
