The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
