Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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